This week we discussed:
- Being A ‘Yes’ Man
- Insanity – “Doing Something Over And Over Again And Expecting Different Results”
- “The King Eats First”
- True Success
Friday 6th January 2017
People always give me a funny look when I tell them I have a dietician.
As a PT, people often turn to me for advice in respect to diets, food intake etc, so they find it strange when they learn that I personally see a dietitian every couple of months.
It’s not until I explain to them that the main reason I see a dietitian is for accountability, just as people often do with personal trainers, that it all starts to make sense.
Whilst the information for health and fitness is out there, and the knowledge can be learnt, the support, accountability and honesty that comes with making a commitment to another person goes a long way.
It’s easy often to let things slide when the only person you’re being accountable is yourself…
You know how it goes…
– You have that extra snack
– Skip a workout
– Purchase that cute outfit
– Overcommit to work
– Lose track of things etc.
But we tell ourselves it’s “okay” and let ourselves off the hook because we’re the only person who knows about after all.
But when you have to lay out the truth, face the facts and make regular commitments to other people who will pull you up when you don’t, the power of guilt, pride and shame, though often seen as negative emotions, can actually prove to be positive motivators to get you to where you want to go.
There are plenty of ways to improve accountability:
– Seeing a professional such as a personal trainer, dietitian, psychologist, lifecoach, accountant
– Joining an online or face-to-face group
– Telling people about your goals
– Using apps/programs (many of which are free) such as HabitBull (for habits), MyFitnessPal (for dietary tracking) and all the other amazing book (Audible), meditation (Headspace), fitness trackers (Bodyspace) etc out there.
And if you still don’t know where to start, please feel free to message me. I’d be more than happy to be your goal accountability partner. 🙂
Thursday 5th January 2017
Have you ever found yourself being a bit of a ‘yes’ man?
I never realised I was until I over commitment myself and eventually broke down into tears on the floor of a shopping centre at the end of last year for no good reason.
So why do so many of us say ‘yes’ so often?
I think it has a lot to do with the fear of missing out (FOMO)… and for me, this was especially true in respect to money.
Because I hasn’t set myself goals and boundaries, my default need was always MORE. So without thinking, all my energy was diverted away from all other areas of my life (including sleep, relaxation, friends etc) towards trying to fill my bank account.
So I didn’t allow myself to say the word ‘NO’ to things (to be honest, I never even truly considered it an option).
I didn’t want to compromise. I wanted it all and more. So I found myself saying ‘yes’ to everything.
I honestly thought that by saying ‘yes’ so much, and committing myself to so many things that I would accomplish more. Instead I found myself feeling unfulfilled, and taking myself away from those things I truly valued.
I was spending my precious time doing things I didn’t truly want to do in an attempt to get more and prove myself to others.
When I first decided to become a PT I felt as though I knew what I wanted in life, but as time went on and I grew and achieved things in my new field, I found myself once again wanting more and feeling unfulfilled.
I was meeting people who I believed to be more successful than myself and would compare myself to them.
But this just left me feeling inadequate and as though what I was doing was not enough. That I was not enough. That I was never going to get to a place of value.
So as many of us do, I tried picking up the pace in an attempt to not only keep up with others, but to chase the place they were in life down. I started thinking “if only I had this or that, then I’d be happy, fulfilled, successful…”
It wasn’t until my breakdown forced me to stop that I was finally forced to take a good look at what I was doing, because clearly it wasn’t working.
So I asked myself:
– Why am I doing all of the things I am doing?
– Do I really need that much money to survive?
– What are the consequences of continuing to do what I was doing?
– Why am I comparing myself to all of these people?
– What if I’m trying to chase down people running a different race to me?
– Why am I not happy?
Needless to say it was one hell of an eye opener.
I realised that:
– That I needed to stop comparing myself to other and stop seeking the approval of others.
– That the only standard I should be setting and the only race I should be running is my own and at my own pace.
– That I needed to stop saying ‘yes’, I start making time for the things that I truly loved and valued.
– That the reason I was feeling unsuccessful was because the ‘successes’ didn’t reflect my own values.
Does any of this tug at a heart string or seem relatable? If so STOP.
– What’s truly important to me?
– Why am I chasing what I’m currently chasing?
Then take steps to go after that and start letting go of the things you know you don’t want or personally value.
We’re all unique people with different potentials and purposes, and we need to learn to respect that more.
By working towards what YOU truly want, you are a lot more likely to find complete and fulfilling success.
Let others run their own race and let them lust after what you have, not the other way round.
Tuesday 3rd January 2017
*Dedicated to the friends who have stuck by me whilst I have been deeply focused on changing and building my career over the past year*
Albert Einstein said “the definition of insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting different results”… I guess that explains a lot.
At the end of 2016 in mid-December, I had a breakdown after an ATM retained my card. I was on my final day of working 27 days straight and it was simply having ‘one of those days’.
What would normally be easy to brush off sent me into a tailspin, and I sat in front of an ATM crying in the middle of a shopping centre. 💳😭
I’ve never been particularly good at having balance in my life, and this moment really clarified just how much I needed to start working on finding that balance. I was so focused on money and building my career that I had forgotten about me. I hadn’t spent any quality time with family, friends or even myself. I was taking naps in the back of my car when possible, and starting to openly tell people that I was simply a highly caffeinated zombie. ☕😵
So when I was asked to pick up an extra 5 hour shift this weekend, my natural reaction was to say ‘yes!’ and focus on the extra $$$ I would make. 💲💲💲 But looking through my calendar I noticed something, my diary was looking a whole lot like it did before I had my breakdown. 📅📆
And whilst the money was screaming at me, and my brain was screaming at me, I decided to book in a movie date night with a friend of mine at 6pm for that evening instead. 6pm is the same time I would be finishing the extra shift which means there is no way I can be with her and at the shift at the same time. [I like to think my psych would be proud of my decision.] 🤗👍
And don’t get me wrong…
Would it be nice to make a couple extra hundred dollars? 💲💲💲 Yes. ✔
But would it be worth risking my sanity and continuing to neglect my friendships? 👫👬👭 No. 🚫
They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results… and it seems to me like I’m finally starting to understand, apply and embrace that quote.
Monday 2nd January 2017
Have you ever heard the saying, “The King eats first” from Sean Whalen? 👑
We often go into the new year with a list of amazing personal goals which slowly fade into the background as the demands of the days and weeks go by. 🕓
– Your kids may place a high demand on your time. 👧👦👶
– Your partner may ask for more of your attention. 👬💑👭
– Your work may demand more of your focus. 💼
And the next thing you know, weeks have gone by and you can’t remember the last time you had lunch, sat down, or had a moment to yourself. 😧
This is a reality many of us battle with, but here’s a truth we often forget as we get wrapped up in it… If the King/Queen doesn’t eat, no one gets to eat. 🍴
At first it might sound selfish, but think about it… If you don’t look after yourself, how can you expect to give your best to others?
When you look after your mental and physical health, you can give more of you, and better quality of you to those around you. 👪
As they tell you on airplanes, put YOUR oxygen mask on first, then help others around you. Because if you’re unconscious you won’t be able to help anyone. ✈
That’s why it’s important to continue to prioritise yourself and your needs as the demands on the year begin to appear. 👸💆🙏💯
Sunday 1st January 2017
Today was new year’s day, and I had been rostered on to work the full day, 9:00am until 6:00pm.
As expected, the amount of people interested in training on new year’s day wasn’t all that high.
After a few hours, I continued reading Pat Divilly’s book, Upgrade Your Life. Whilst working through the book and the accompanying exercises, I found myself truly questioning what I wanted to get out of the year.
Sure I had set goals for the year… In fact, I’d set goals for all of the following:
• Financial: Earnings/Savings
• Health: Fitness/Physical/Physiological
• Personal Development: Knowledge/Skill-Set/
• Contribution: Spiritual/Giving
• Social: Friends/Family
• Recreation: Travel/Adventure/Experiences/Fun
But what the book had me questioning was how I wanted to feel by the end of the year.
And after a few more hours of pondering, cleaning, talking to members and reading, it hit me…
I WANT TO FEEL SUCCESSFUL.
But what does that mean to me? And how would I define success?
To me, to feel success I need to be successful by my own definition. And to me, that’s being genuinely proud of all that I have achieved and accomplished, during and throughout the year.
My goal is to not define my success by any one area of my life, nor define it solely by the results and outcomes when I undoubtedly analyse the hell out of every single one.
But rather, to me, a sense of success will be an overriding sense of accomplishment in the personal efforts I have put into accomplishing the goals and tasks I have set myself for during the year, and of course, the results that come of that, whether they be lessons, financial or personal accomplishments, or tangible results.
So here is my question to you:
HOW DO YOU WANT TO FEEL AT THE END OF 2017?
Take your time if you need to and sit with it a while. It might take some time to find the answer. We spend so much time setting ourselves goals of a possessive nature that it can be hard for us to re-discover and tap into what we truly want to feel rather than have. But once it comes to you, please let me know.
I’d love to be able to check in at the end of 2017 and see how our journeys have gone. ❤